They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
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