had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
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