areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
my boss made my mugshot into an 'employee of the month' poster.
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
First Peyton Manning retires, and now the most interesting man in the world is retiring for Dos Equis. This is the worst week of my fucking life.
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