Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
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