bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
It's time you knew: I have been dating your probation officer for 7 months. Pretty certain he's THE ONE. So, thanks for being a criminal.
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
Randomize