Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
Randomize
