Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
listen if there's one thing I'm asking of you tonight is that you buy me a cow for my farmville.
Tell me you're stoned. It's 2:40am.
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
In 30 minutes I will have been sober for an entire month. Time for a celebratory lap of cheap alcohol that leads to early liver failure.
But happy liver failure. That's what counts.
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
Today would have been my 8th wedding anniversary and I woke up with a hot European guy in my bed. Divorce has it's perks.
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
Randomize
