remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
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