I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
I told him I might be pregnant and he said he'd buy me a test and a twix bar. I'm marrying him. Tomorrow.
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
Randomize
