we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
Randomize
