I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
Randomize
