You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
I take back all the times I've said life was unfair. I'm about to have two trained bartenders for a girlfriend and roommate
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
Today is definitely a "stand over the toilet and pee through the opening at the bottom of my boxers" kind of day.
I guess the silver lining is that having a big dick really comes in handy when you're hungover.
It's a mixed blessing.
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
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