her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
Randomize
