How was dinner with ur grandparents?
I was really blazed and scared they'd catch me, so when they asked about my day I was concentrating really hard on not saying smoking that instead I honestly said "Well, I had sex on your pool table, Nana."
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
Randomize
