3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
Breakfast is bomb, yo. McDonald's before ten thirty is like Katie Holmes before Tom Cruise.
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
I can't wash the smell of tacos off my hands. I feel like the Lady Macbeth of Chipotle.
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
Randomize