Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
1.) You left the rest of your whiskey here 2.) I drank your whiskey 3.) then made a steam roller out of the bottle 4.) Everything tastes like whiskey
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
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