Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
He left a fire sauce packet from taco bell that said "promise you'll text me in the morning" on my nightstand.
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
Randomize
