This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
if i dont get laid while im dressed as Tim Tebow, i'm just staying true to the costume.
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
A part of me realizes this is a bad time to text. But I override it with my awesomeness
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
I had to cum in my sink.
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