Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
I swear she didn't look like that last week.
i didn't know you could wash puke off of bras with a dishwasher.
she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
I'm sorry I kept calling last night when you wouldn't pick up. I'm REALLY sorry I sang "You Oughta Know" on more than 4 voice mails.
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
Randomize
