Already got asked if we're dating
I just saw a hot homeless man
he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
