I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
Realization: many of my behaviors would lead to me being stoned to death in a lot of foreign countries. God bless America.
Randomize
