With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
"Grocery shopping" is really just a euphemism for spending $20 on enough frozen food to last 2 weeks and spending the rest of your viable paycheck on alcohol.
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
Randomize
