should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
It was awkward being the only one at the wedding who knows that the bride and groom met when she gave him a lap dance at a strip club
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
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