Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
My New Years Resolution was to get a girl I dont know pregnant. 8 months later I can check that off the list..
at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
I just called him "young grasshopper" in a conversation. THIS is why I don't get numbers when I'm sober
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
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