but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
Randomize
