quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
Dear female. Happy valentines day. If you have not had the pleasure of making love to me, please do not fret, I will get around to it soon enough. If you indeed have made love to me, then bravo, wasn't that grand! Perhaps we should do it again? Regardless, have a good day. This has been a public service announcement. Rock on.
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
Randomize
