im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
Welp, I just herniated a vocal cord during sex. How was your night?
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
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