Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
Nooo, I ran into two if my exes, both having their engagement parties at the bar. It was like a fucking Eskimo family reunion, but with more tequila.
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
Randomize
