she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
Considering that my ex-wife dumped me to become a lesbian, the Universe owes me a threesome.
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
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