i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
Randomize
