This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
I heard you were drinking whiskey straight from the bottle last night.
Actually I was drinking whiskey straight from 3 bottles, but that is neither here nor there.
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
When the bouncer doesn't let you in... Don't ask him where he works so you could file a complaint with the better business bureau... It only proves him right.
It's 5 PM...and you're 35. Congrats on being an amazing human being.
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