i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
Randomize
