I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
My drunk body wants to fuck you so bad, but my high mind is telling me it's too much work. I think I'm just gonna stay home and eat some Mac and cheese. Sorry.
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
Randomize
