I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
Pizza is the life boat of my drunk Titanic
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
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