Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
Drunk on an escalator. I fell like 15 flights of stairs without actually moving more than 5 feet.
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
In other news, I just burned my penis
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
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