I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
Randomize
