So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
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