shit! I think I may have lost something in your car. Look for anything that can possibly belong to me, especially look out for a pair of pink panties in a ziplock. I lost my spare and you better find it before someone else does.
your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
NoShamevember. You game?
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
Randomize
