her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
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