You are an awful beat friend I am goin to die in a car accident and then my corpse is going to be used by criminals ala weekend at bernies to rob a bank then my corpse will go to jail Thanks john Thanks for nuthin
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
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