Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
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