don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
Randomize
