so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
Gay?
German.
Pity.
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
Randomize
