its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
Randomize
