he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
Btw I puked in your glovebox
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