Seriously? Do you have me saved in your phone as 'check every 3 months to see if she's single yet'?
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
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