The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
Someday soon you'll wake up next to a bottle of jameson and a half eaten lean cuisine and then you'll be just like me.
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
Just wore the promise ring dad gave me freshman year of high school as a fake wedding band while I bought a pregnancy test. I think it's safe to say that's not what he had in mind with that gift 14 years ago.
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
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