i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
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