handjob tips. give me some.
and she was petting her beer can
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
You said too many real things and now I need to crawl back inside my protective fort of sarcasm, being an asshole, and sass
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
Randomize
