singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
Randomize
