theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
Apparently I took a selfie with fried chicken at 2 am....I'm still trying to figure out where I got the chicken. I thought I was making mac & cheese.
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
Randomize