god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
I just need you to stay far enough away that I can't smell your cologne. I completely forget that I fucking hate you as soon as I smell it.
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
Last night I had a dream that I changed my last name to Vodka. what does that say about my life?
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
Randomize
