@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
i woke up on my kitchen floor, halfway through a text, and my mascara running... this is why i stopped drinking tequila
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
Randomize