Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
TSA literally pulled two bottles of whiskey out of my bag. Once he saw the leopard print socks and the mickey mouse tank, he put it back in my bag and said "Have a fun trip, man."
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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